part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
