I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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