If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
