so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
