If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
