i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We need to get me chipped asap
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Never underestimate the power of titties
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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