U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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