Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
