I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
