I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
