whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
