Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
