i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
