I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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