I'm drive I can fine osifer
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
