I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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