Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
