I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize