I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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