shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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