no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize