Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
