A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
