Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
