thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
