Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
