She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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