Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
