You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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