His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
