sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
