I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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