How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Randomize
