I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
