Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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