i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
