Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
