I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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