I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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