I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
