Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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