So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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