so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
vagina is talking i cant
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
