yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
