just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
