Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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