A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
