I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
