My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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