I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
