no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize