rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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