That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize