I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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