wrigley field is MILF paradise
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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