I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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