if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
