your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
