so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
