you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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