I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
