i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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