is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
