just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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