glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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