the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
