you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
